I know that our love for God is not perfect. I know that we love Him because He first loves us. And whether we know it or not, He is our first love and our only perfect love. I am so glad to have God in my life, because His love gives me the strength to press forward. I know He is with me. He knows every inch of my thoughts, yet He still loves me, relentlessly. He calls me by name, and through Him, all of my days have already been written. And if it is all written, I can trust that He knows every disappointment, every loss and every challenge.
|“You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”
(Psalm 139:16, NLT)
I wonder what trusting God looks like. I wish to visualize it so that I can live it. God does not hesitate, so I need to trust God’s timing. And if it is written, then we know that regardless of our setbacks, our story ends in victory. Our chapter concludes with us fulfilling God’s given destiny. So anytime we face disappointments or loss in our life, we are reminded that there is another chapter in front of us.
Father, I’ve read that you will restore back to us what have been lost. I want to know if that actually came from you and whether it applies to me. Speak Father, for I am listening. Show me Lord God, for I am seeking.
Thank you Father God for caring for me when I can’t care for myself.
Bless me with tunnel vision, and allow what you have put in my heart to triumph over what the world has put before my eyes.
As I packed my necessities to move to the city, I felt a sudden dwell of emotion that caught me off-guard. It was the pain of leaving behind my precious pets. In some sense, I was abandoning them. The thought of not being in their lives held me still. My heart was in one place but my life was in another. It’s interesting how certain small moments connect you directly back to other moments of your life. The packing and the car ride was such a deja-vu of times I’ve left before. It then reminded me of the times I’ve been to the airport.
It makes me wonder how I’m going to handle traveling, working and having a life overseas which is a part of my future plans. It makes me wonder how many times must I revisit ‘the pain of leaving.’ I started questioning whether I had attachment issues and if so, how were I to address them? With the things I wanted to experience in life, will I need to detach myself from pets, people and places, and to what extent? Will I need to have a detached mentality or was it okay to hold onto a few things? How much of my time would I invest in each of the things that is going on in my life? The answer is, as much as I want. I get to choose. There’s no right or wrong answer. But each answer will have a portion of one more so than the other. It was a trade-off. I couldn’t have all of both, but I get to choose how much of each I wanted. I need to make a decision and have the courage to let go. I had to travel light, as Robert Furguson would say. Funny enough, he also said we should stop letting our dogs or cats interfere with our destiny. Here’s another thing. It also comes down to trust. Trust that what you leave behind will be okay without you. Trust that God has you in mind. Obviously if the situation is not ideal, then don’t leave. But if it happens so, that you lose what you leave, know that God would not take anything from you that you still needed.
I could hear sadness in my parent’s voice as they see me leaving, again. This time it wasn’t because anything was wrong at home. It was purely for work. For the first time, I didn’t want to leave home. Home was ideal. Home was where everything and everyone was. I think it’s amazing that I could associate home with such positive feelings. But we all knew that moving to the city was the best situation for me in terms of work, uni, other curricular and non-curricular activities. It was a chance to be positive, to be independent, to change my mindset, to change my life. It was a chance to be who I am, to embrace that to the fullest.
Today I decided to look at life through the almond-tree mentality after hearing Robert Ferguson sermon. It’s the same concept as looking at the glass half-full. I decided to continue to work on being positive. That instead of putting all this pressure on myself to be the best and make the most of everything that was in my path-way. I decided to appreciate what I have and be aware that I am already blessed with the opportunity, rather than being stressed at the challenge. My goals don’t change, but my perspective does.
You know, there’s always a ‘why’ to the things we devote ourselves to and the goals that we set. Regardless of whether my ‘why’ was strong enough to sustain me through the difficult times, I choose to place the power in to whom it is that I gather my strength, that I find favour and blessings from. And that’s God. My who, is Christ, whom has always been enough and will always be enough. I know God is proud of how far I’ve come and has plenty set out for me in life, and I need not to be anxious about the future, but enjoy it as it comes.
-I’m currently looking for an appropriate place to rent in the city, one that will allow me to bring my kitten and have my own room and is near work.
-My aim is to pick up everything really quick at work and be fully equipped to work independently without training within the first 4-6 weeks.
– I also aim to win the co-op of the year award.
– I’m taking on studies while I’m working as well. Hopefully this year, I get the subjects I intend to out of the way. I think what will be most challenging is 2016, when I take on full-time studies with full-time work, given that I will be working and where and how flexible my manager would be.
Loving Japanese food! Fresh Salmon Sashimi are always a great idea for a light meal when you want to eat something but you’re not exactly that hungry.
Posted in Food
How do you forgive when you don’t even want to? You just do. You may be sick of hearing, “you just do” but there isn’t always a how-to step. Certainly not with things you just don’t want to do at the time. You just choose to, and the more you choose to, the closer you are to it.